Open TikTok and you’ll likely scroll past boys with chipped black nail polish, tearfully syncing to a sad girl anthem, wearing a Scott Pilgrim-adjacent outfit, and telling you he’s “just in his healing era.”

Maybe he’s sipping matcha. Maybe he’s reading The Bell Jar. Maybe he’s got a Mitski lyric in his bio. He’s not necessarily trying to be different – he’s just online.

Let’s be clear: this isn’t a critique of boys who genuinely enjoy these things. In fact, emotional vulnerability and evolving masculinity are not only valid –  they’re long overdue. But what we’re seeing trend on TikTok right now is something a little different: a specific performance of interests. It’s a curated aesthetic of female led interests that feel almost like a trick.

This isn’t always intentional or manipulative. Often, it’s just guys engaging with a culture that feels cooler, more emotionally fluent, or more connected than traditional masculinity. But online, there’s a growing gap between looking like you’ve grown and actually doing the work.

You know the type, or at least, the version of him trending right now. He has a tote bag that says “Feminist.” His Tinder bio has a Sally Rooney quote. He knows every track on Sling but still insists Clairo is “underrated.” He’s not mocking girlhood, he’s mirroring it, sometimes a little too precisely.

To be fair, this new wave of self-aware femininity comes after years of cultural unlearning around toxic masculinity. Social media, especially TikTok, has pushed boys to explore more vulnerable, creative, and expressive identities. But it’s also made taste, especially feminine-coded taste, into a kind of branding.

And like most branding, it’s meant to be seen.

The shift toward a “softer” male image isn’t inherently bad. It’s rooted in meaningful change – in conversations about gender roles, emotional literacy, and mental health. But when emotionality becomes content, when sadness becomes an aesthetic, or when listening to Mitski becomes a personality trait… it raises questions.

Not necessarily bad ones. But important ones.

We’re not talking about boys who genuinely connect with this music, these books, or this vibe. We’re talking about the ‘TikTokification’ of vulnerability, where being into Lana Del Rey, astrology, or skincare becomes less about personal growth and more about projecting a curated persona that girls will find appealing.

It’s not so much about liking something. It’s about being seen liking it.

This phenomenon isn’t really new, it’s more like the 2025 remix of the “softboi.” Only now, he’s more media-literate. He knows what to say, what to quote, and how to present a certain kind of emotionally fluent masculinity. But the question is: does he mean it?

Knowing a girl’s favourite sad song doesn’t mean you understand her lived experience. Reading Normal People doesn’t make you emotionally available. Drinking matcha and watching Fleabag doesn’t mean you’re introspective. These things aren’t inherently shallow , but when they’re performed as a shortcut to depth, they can feel hollow.

So… Is This a Bad Thing? Not really – at least not always. It’s great that boys are exploring their softer sides. The mainstreaming of “feminine-coded” interests like vulnerability, introspection, and emotional openness is, overall, a good thing.

But like all trends, intent matters.

There’s a difference between discovering a new part of yourself and temporarily adopting a persona because it’s trending. There’s a difference between trying to connect and trying to get clout. And for women engaging with men in this space, the difference can be confusing – and at times, frustrating.

The future of these trends doesn’t need to borrow from femininity like it’s a thrifted aesthetic. It needs to respect femininity and women, without performing it. It’s not about becoming the “perfect guy” through playlists and poetry. It’s about being real. Grounded. Honest.

This isn’t about gatekeeping what men can enjoy. If Clairo makes you cry in your car and The Bell Jar changed your worldview, by all means, go off. But if you’re only listening to Clairo to look like someone who listens to Clairo, maybe it’s time to ask why.

For more stories on Social Media click here: https://illuminatedmag.co.uk/social-media/